Great day for jokes

First of all, Scott Adam's blog. And I quote:

Scientists discovered a planet 20.5 light years from here that seems to have the right stuff for sustaining life.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18293978/

The scientists named the planet Gliese 581 C, evidently to showcase the reason scientists can’t get laid. Science fiction writers all over the Earth are muttering, “Fuck you very much.” No one is going to buy a book titled “Escape From Gliese 581 C.”

And if we discover advanced life on that planet, what do we call them? It won’t be something easy like Martians, or Venutians. No, they will be Gliese 581 Csians – a name that practically demands we discriminate against them.

And then (I've highlighted the funniest bit, just so's it's obvious):

We don’t know if the planet already has life. I suggest we play God and put some there. 20.5 light years is too long for human travel, but we could place some hearty bacteria and whatnot in a probe and fire it in that direction. If there isn’t already life on Gliese 581 C, the bacteria and whatnot can evolve into zebras and Creationists over time.

On reading that a second time, that's probably only funny to me because Creationism and Intelligent Design is of interest to me after reading Richard Dawkin's "The God [something]" recently.

Moving swiftly on, another line:

If there already is life on the planet, our bacteria and whatnot will probably infect them and wipe out their civilization. So we might want to put a Mars license plate on the probe.

And then onto Get Fuzzy: that last line is a cracker!

And then Calvin and Hobbes: probably only funny because the Wee Man still doesn't get that when I say "Do you want some toast?", the hard bread I get out of the freezer is not the same as the hard bread that comes out of the toaster, and yes, Wee Man, it is going to take a couple of minutes before you can eat it. No, please don't cry. Stop crying. Stop now. Stop throwing yourself on the floor and having a hissy fit! Please don't hit me again!

Labels: comics

posted by Blakey UK @ 9:41 am 3 comments

Working From Home

How To Convince Your Boss To Let You Work From Home.

Check the pic. Yep, that's what I'm doing right now...

posted by Blakey UK @ 9:36 am 0 comments

Tonight's The Night

Yay! Heroes is back on.

[Wipes drool from keyboard]

Labels: heroes, tv

posted by Blakey UK @ 11:56 am 0 comments

Two questions for you:

Question The First:

Why, when I'm drinking a Starbucks on the train to work, is my first sip...(NB: I hate those gaps in the lid, so I take the lid off when drinking) .. ALWAYS at the point of the cup where the seam is? I hate that!!

Question The Second:
Normally I get the train from my place, to Glasgow Central, to Bishopton, and it costs £4.75. One day last week I managed to a get a free ride into town as it was earlier in the morning before staffing levels hit their highest on Scotrail, so I bought a ticket from Central to Bishopton only. And it was still £4.75

How does that work??

Labels: mysteries

posted by Blakey UK @ 11:44 am 0 comments