Monday, November 28, 2005

25 Things To Know About Raising Boys

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Worth reading even if the title puts you off....


1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite

3) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke --lots of it.

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22) The spin cycle on the washing machine will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

a) For those without children, this is hysterical.

b) For those whose children are past this age, this is hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control

 

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Fancy ax Xbox 360?

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Click here ... and get your wallet out?

 

Thursday, November 17, 2005

This is the best on-line arguement I've seen in a long time

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Here's the situation..

"My boss just had a baby. It's a small company. She's bringing it to work everyday. How do I tell her that this is bad?

Call me old fashioned, but an infant should not be at work. I'm having a hard time dealing with a crying baby in my office, as well as someone changing diapers and also having my boss closing her door and breastfeeding while I'm trying to work. I need to somehow tell her that I have a big problem with this and how it is reflected on our companies' professionalism but I don't want to hurt her feelings, or worst even, look like a big grump. Got any pointers? I'm having a difficult time with this one. "
Speaking as a worker, a parent, and a manager (with a suitably embarrassed "cough, cough" in case anyone from work is reading this)... this is fantastic! I didn't realise there were so many dumb people around.

Of course... feel free to place bets on which particular bunch of people I'm calling "dumb"

Read more.

 

Monday, November 14, 2005

Let's see if I can predict the future.....

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Hold on... the smoke is clearing, the crystal ball is bringing something to the front...


Oh. It's just Flyguy's usual brown-nosing over Google Analytics (free stats for your web site). Same old same old. "Google, google, we love you, google"...

Coming your way in about 3 weeks after he's recovered from the US trip. (Unless he's brave enough to log on whilst on his wedding/honeymoon trip!)

Ah well. Better luck next time.

Flyguy: sorry I beat you to it. That must really suck :-)

 

Friday, November 11, 2005

What's that sticky gunge that just appeared down my pants....?

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I'm hiding this URL as I want it to be a big surprise for Flyguy, MadJock, and BigAndiD when they come back from the US

http://tinyurl.com/9dhcm

USFWBNYSC
[Ultra safe for work but not your street cred]

 

Nov 10th: M-P Day

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Apparently, Nov 10th is Starbuck's traditional day to change to the Xmas menu.

Which means....


... you got it!....

MINCE PIES!!!!!


Yummm....

 

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Looking for something to put on your CV?

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BullshitJob.com - Humorous Home of the Bullshit Job Title Generator and Bullshit Job Quiz

 

Hmmm. Interesting...

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http://tinyurl.com/7omb9

:-)

 

Two great links

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One, something to piss off Sony and their bastard root-kit installation that comes with some of their CDs if you play them on a PC: http://www.lifehacker.com/software/digital-audio/keep-your-music-free-disable-autoplay-136072.php

Secondly, a torrent search engine aggregator: http://www.lifehacker.com/software/bittorrent/find-torrents-with-bittorrent-aggregator-torrent-finder-136073.php

 

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Wouldn't you just shit yourself if you met this?

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And worse, it was found in north London:

http://www.wftv.com/slideshow/2691965/detail.html?qs=;s=13;w=400


Eeuurrggghhh!

 

Friday, November 04, 2005

Is somebody trying to tell me something?

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http://www.onehorseshy.com/shirts/girly_jerseys?page=3&p=onehorseshy.34131600

 

Unbelievable!

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It's not OK for us to copy music to listen to on our own personal MP3 player, car MP3 player, home minidisc/MP3 player, or our PC for when in the study, but it's OK for Sony to use hacker techniques on their CDs.