I'm just in the middle of watching some movie trailers, with no pausing during the downloads.
Fab.
Keep an eye open for:
The Man - Samuel L Jackon and the dad from American Pie as a tough cop and ... well... the dad from American Pie.
The Night Watch - horror movie (first of a trilogy) with some neat effects. Probably a shite story line, and no doubt parts 2 and 3 won't get made, but it sure looks good.
The Weather Man - looks like a nice gentle comedy with Nicholage Cage, and Michael Caine throwing bits of home-spun homilies as his dad. Can't be bad.
With honourary mentions going to:
The Fantastic Four ("Flame on!")
War of the Worlds ("Shame about losing Richard Burton's intro")
The Whole Nine Yards ("Doesn't Ben Stiller ever rest?")
The Cave ("Shittest film of the year").
A Sound Of Thunder ("aka, Jurassic Park 5 + some GM animals")
And, of course, the sublime Wallace and Grommit
And on a parting note: let's hope Dakota Fanning stays away from drink, drugs, and boys as she grows up, as she's one of the best actresses around.
It's a place where people can write their personal, private, secrets down, and share them with others, anonymously (although the author of the site gets more submissions than he can handle).
I love some of the comments on this page. I love them so much, I'll add my worthy retorts:
7. Why is the death star at the end half-finished if it takes another 17 years to complete it?
Hmmm. Ever seen a building go up? The frame takes a couple of days, the walls/windows take four times as long, and the paint and carpets take-for-fucking-ever.
That's why!
7. (again). How does Amdiala give birth to children without eben opening her thighs?
Ever heard of a c-section? She was dying. It was urgent. The kids were at risk.
14. The day we put star wars up to critical analysis is the day we loose what attracted us to it in the first place; the enjoyment we got out of it when we saw it as kids who knew no better.
Too true. Nevertheless, I'll continue (although in my defence, I'm picking holes in the critical analysis, not in the film)...
20. Need a quick end the clone wars in your script? Just have your guy hyperspace to the trade federation planet and kill all the trade federation guys. It takes like fifteen seconds of script.
And an insider who turns traitor!
20 (again). If you’ve written a script that is utterly devoid of any characters we care about, logical plot structure, dramatic tension, or believable dialogue– just throw in a shitload of CGI effects and change scenes really quickly. Itll look like a video game and nerds will love it.
Why not? It's worked for so many other films and people love it. Why should Star Wars be any different? That's like shouting when Microsoft do something bad, and then creaming your pants when Apple do the same thing.
29. So [the Jedi Council] have talked about looking for this Sith Lord for many many years and yet with all their knowledge of force, they couldn’t tell he was a few blocks over in another building?
Spoiler warning: The bad guy has the Force as well!
Just like the USA can't always find Soviet submarines because the bad guys have also got radar-efficient reflection...
29 (again). Another thing, Obi-wan gets his ass kicked by Dooku when they were trying to save Palpatine and Anni kills Dooku (I’m assuming because Anni said his powers have grown 20 times stronger or whatever since their last meeting as I’m sure he’s been able to train quite a bit…lol). So then at the end of Episode III, Obi-wan kicks Anni’s ass and leaves him for dead…this after we assume Anni gets even stronger with the dark side of the force. Maybe it’s like starting over though, his main job is now with the dark side so after killing the separatists he gained like Level 2 in the dark side and Obi-wan is like at Level 55 in the good side…whatever…stupid stupid stupid.
Hmmm. The arrogant kid assumed he was better, and got his balls cut off as a result. Not at all like real life, eh?
31. If you bought a Coke that tasted bad, and then second one also tasted bad, would you buy another? George Lucas is laughing at you every time he looks at his bank statements.
Fair point. I assume everyone that moans about Sith won't be watching the Clone Wars cartoon?
34. If Qui-Gon has just discovered the “secret of eternal life” - i.e.: the glowing afterlife special limited edition action figure trick, how does Anakin know how to do this at the end of Jedi??
HE HAD 20+ YEARS TO DO IT!
42. When you’re on a ship that apparently uses some kind of artificial gravity, and the ship tilts and starts a rapid fall into a planet, the artificial gravity will suddenly no longer work, and rather than being in freefall you’ll fall planetward faster than the ship.
Maybe you've got it wrong. Maybe the artificial gravity broke, and they were being thrown UP the ship by simple difference in acceleration (same as those planes that do a skip in the atmosphere to fake no-gravity). But that would look odd on screen. But what do I know about physics? More than some, I suspect...
49. Why don’t they use the force to turn off the other guy’s light saber?
Love it!!!
58. And why couldn’t Jedi Master Obi-Wan use the force to knock the little robots off his space ship? It can be used to pick up an X-wing fighter out of the swamp, but cannot push little robots off a space ship.
HE WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SPACE BATTLE. MAYBE HE WAS FECKIN' BUSY!!!
63. Then this pile of Sith comes along...
Witty, even if I disagree.
69. No one’s commented on the fact that Palpatine, in talking about how he killed his own dark lord, Darth something or other, essentially admitted that the dark lord created Anakin. Palpy said his lord could coax midichlorians into creating life. Annie’s mother said to Qui-jon that there was no father in Annie’s conception. The Jedi council wonders if the midichlorians created Annie. So Annie’s father was (sort of) the dark lord that Palpatine killed. So Annie’s mother could have known that dark lord, and perhaps knew Palpatine as well. Does it have any real bearing on the story? It does if anyone cared about how Annie came to be.
Hmmm. Nice idea!!!
Episode 0.5 anyone?
81. And George Lucas’s lasting achievement as a filmmaker? He must be the only director on the planet who can make Samuel L. Jackson dull.
'Nuff said.
I've only one personal criticism.
"To avoid the Sith from killing the twins, let's hide them and change their names. We'll put Leia away on Alderaan and call her Leia Organa, and we'll hide Luke away on Tatooine and call him Luke Humperdinck. No, wait, that's just stupid...."
1. Be a single mum 2. Live in a council house 3. Have three daughters 4. Don't teach them about sex education 5. Let them all have kids at ages 12, 14, and 16
I love this ever-so-slightly tongue-in-cheek guide to lightsabres, particularly page 4 with the hedge-trimming and bagel-slice-and-toast-in-one-go photos.
There's been a concept used in various sci-fi novels over the years called "subvocalisation" - the idea is that a device can pick up muscle movements or thought impulses related to speech, before you actually speak, and turn those movements/impulses into audible speech elswhere via radio etc.
It's not a new idea. But two things have happened:
1. NASA have made some progress towards it, and
2. Somehow this is the guy that thought of it first. Somehow I doubt it - he's too young.
Just received the latest copy of one of my favourite email newsletter recently, and the author shared one of the things that's kept him from writing as regularly as he would have liked recently.
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress? 2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth? 3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed? 4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"? 5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit? 6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer? 8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date? 9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? 10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? 11. What do people in China call their good plates? 12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs. 14. What do you call male ballerinas? 15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream? 16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner? 17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker? 18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from? 20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong? 21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it? 22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass? 23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
Having failed to register to vote since I've moved, I was unable to vote in the last local election. And I promptly forgot to register after that, so I still can't vote.
If one of you out there is planning not to vote, can you vote Lib Dem on my behalf please? Tony's a liar (OK, so they're all liars, but people don't normally die or get sent to an illegal war when a politician lies); Gordon Brown's been a lucky sod I think; and Michael Howard... well, I just don't think he cuts the mustard.
What's even stranger is that, in all my long years, even though I've moved house 9 times in the last 9 years, I've never needed to register before.
What is this? Some labour ploy to prevent those Y.U.P.P.I.E. consertive supporters from voting after they've upgraded their self-owned property again????
